Ayangbure of Ikorodu.
I think it is all about education. If you are educated, nobody will deprive you of your rights, because you know your rights.
If you abuse any child for example or you commit sexual assault against anybody, it is no longer domestic but it is that person against the government. We join hands to encourage those, who are educating people concerning this to continue. As an educated man, I can’t beat my wife. We need to empower our woman in order to eradicate poverty.
I am happy with what the first lady of Lagos State is doing. She would not tolerate anyone abusing any female or house wife. With all the programmes on the eradication of poverty and empowerment of women going on in the state, domestic violence would be reduced to the barest minimum.
- ADEORIYOMI HAKEEM OYEBO: The Obateru of Egbin.
Domestic violence has been with us and it happens all over the world but we have our own peculiarity. For example, our own culture and tradition are different from what is obtainable in the Western world.
The program of today, which is centered on domestic violence, is going to educate our people on what it is all about. But I do know that in the Western World, it is rare for a man or husband to lift up his hand and beat his child or wife. My advice to parents is that they should not engage in domestic violence and that the government should continue to sponsor and finance this type of programme.
SHEIKH SEIFUDEEN OLOWORIBI, Chief Imam of Ikorodu Division:
The problem we are having is that everybody wants to train his or her children the way the Americans train their own.
Most of the people talking now, how were they raised? Didn’t their parents scold them when they were growing up? And did it not have much impact on their lives?
A child needs to be scolded so as to take away bad behavior and ensure that the child behaves well, although, it should not be done in a manner to scare the child. The Americans think that the child should have freedom to talk, express himself or herself and wear whatever she likes. But all this does not conform with our own culture. You cannot compare a child trained by an American to the one trained by an African in obeying and making positive change.
All these contribute to the destruction of the society today. If you leave a child to do whatever he or she wants, the society would be the worse for it. My advice to the youths is that they should submit themselves for cautioning and advice from the elders.
Comparing our own lives, the good training we had from our fathers or parents made tremendous impact in our lives today. In Islamic injunction, we are told that we should not rape and violate one another but we should love our neighbor, fellowshipping with them to make life good.
If we continue to do the right thing, the society will be peaceful. But I must say that some Baales are part of the problems plaguing our society. If a Baale sells land to three (3) or four (4) people and his children go there to collect money for foundation, it is part of the things running the community. Most of those youths behaving irrationally copied it from their fathers and their involvement in cult activities. If we want our society to be peaceful, we should follow God’s commandments.
SUPERITENDENT AYODELE UMUJOSE, DPO, Adeniji Adele Police Station: Yes, the issue is that in Africa, we believe and have culture and customs where we are expected to discipline our wards. But in the process of instituting discipline, it must not be taken too far. You can counsel him or her but in a situation where a child has done wrong and you use a hard object to beat him or her, it might result to permanent injury or deformity.
And this is what we are preaching against. We are preaching against sending your wards to the street to go and hawk because while they are hawking their lives are in danger. For that reason, we don’t want to encourage it and that is why the Lagos State government considered and deemed it necessary that it was high time the excesses of parents and guardians were put in check.
The role of the police is that we have sections and some persons have been trained to handle these cases. We have such in Adeniji Adele police station, Isokoto, Festac and in Ikorodu. If this kind of case is reported to us, we make sure that it is treated confidentially.
Doing this would encourage whoever is the victim to report the case to the police. We also press charges against the accuser and do fellow-up by going to court to give evidence in the case and possibly get the medical report so that we can gain conviction in court.
There should be attitudinal change and people should know that once they commit this type of crime, the court is giving to take it up, and people should know that they should report to the police and other NGO’s who are into the business of making sure that all these things are taken care of once they come up.
HON. SOB AGUNBIADE:
Why would a man beat his wife or child? A lot of this maybe as a result of psychological trauma or economic frustration. A man may not be able to attend to the needs of the family and therefore decide to vent his anger on the wife or children. Many people are walking the streets today retrenched and jobless.
All these are factors causing domestic dispute leading to domestic violence. Again the society is also losing its value system whereby there is respect between husband and wife. In the event of misunderstanding, there are no longer good mediators as was the case in the past.
Even when domestic violence occurs, nobody in speaking out. There are laws that take care of such issues but the laws are not being enforced. The awareness being created how is very good and it would go a long way in encouraging people to speak out. People do not even know that there are penalties against domestic violence.
I think the laws are very effective but when people don’t know about the law, they don’t know how to seek refuge under the law and when those who are to enforce the law are not doing enough, it is as if the law is not existing.
I know that the Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation are doing something in this regard if you have any problem concerning violence. Not every domestic violence that is resolved quickly. In very serious cases for those who have trauma, which affect their well-being, Government institutions like psychiatric homes and rehabilitation centres are there.
ALHAJA TAOFEEKAT ALLISON, Iyaloja General, Ikorodu:
Parents must work hand in hand to train their children because if one of the parents is trying to train a child and the other one is not supporting, this can cause more havoc than good to such a child’s life.
Both parents must also exercise patience in their homes because of their children. They must not try to engage in fight, which may later lead to divorce because their separation would have devastating effects on their children.
Again, parents should be able to endure in their marriage so that both of them would be able to see their children through and also enjoy the fruit of their labour. They should be responsible for training their children and not leave them to the Nanny or house help to train.
PASTOR EMMANUEL ADEGOKE, Coordinator, CAN, Ikorodu Central and Rector, Celestial Church Seminary:
Parents and Guardians should correct the children in love for a better living, which is different from doing it with violence. Good words can be used to instill discipline into a child.
However, the effect the religious teaching has on violence depends on the religious leader and the type of training he or she had received before becoming a leader. This religious violence can be averted by a well-trained religious leader who had gone through series of counselling and having been taught how to handle homes.
And it all depends on the personality of such a leader. The issue of domestic violence can also be averted by parents and guardians by teaching their wares how to be responsible citizens. Children too should listen to the advice of their parents and learn from past mistakes.